In recent weeks, I have had the pleasure of getting to know a few college students through a coaching experience and while I will not reveal their names, I thought it might be an interesting study to observe in a fictitious sense some of the learnings that I have gleaned about what makes a successful student and a successful collegiate institution.
I thought we would meet each student (again fictitiously) and learn something through their own eyes. Today, let's meet Natalie. Natalie's world revolves around soccer. She loves sports and she is excellent at hers. Her grades are good. She connects with her friends but is a shy person. In the coaching scenario, it is clear that she is not interested and believes herself to be above the need for a coach. To meet with her coach is an inconvenience. Natalie seems content to get along because everything is good. She says that she wants to be a better person but when pushed about what that is, she will not explain because she will not open up.
Natalie's experience with coaching speaks to the challenges that can be presented in the coaching relationship. It would be nice to think that every student would just open up! What Natalie and I have not had is the benefit of entering the school year together--and starting out on new ground together. She was able to find a niche without a coach during her first semester and does not see the need for our relationship. What she fails to see is that she could use this time to push herself toward being that better person that she says she wants to be.
Coaching is about relationship development. My challenge is to find a way to develop relationship with a person that clearly doesn't want to be in relationship to me. Natalie's challenge, apart from opening up to this stranger, rests in learning to be an engaged person. I am of the belief that the successful students of our day and the successful people of our future are people who are willing not just to excel by the standard means but to push the limit and push themselves to be the best that they can be.
Natalie does that in her sport and my dream for her is that she do that in the whole of her life.
