Monday, August 24, 2009
Donated Coaching Sessions
This just in! Wingate Baptist Church in Wingate, NC has donated enough funds so that five people can have six free coaching sessions through Blythe Taylor Coaching. If you would like to be one of those five, please email Blythe Taylor at blythe@blythetaylorcoaching.com and she will contact you to schedule your sessions!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Anger as the Pivot Point
Failing (because I'm too much of a perfectionist) . . . needing to be right rather than kind . . . wars that profess our inability to be unified . . . evil, manipulative, dishonest people . . . leaders who fail to stand up for the people that work for them . . . institutions that fail to claim vision . . . discrimination (especially in the church against women and young leaders--isn't that the place everyone is supposed to be accepted?) . . . governments that act in the short term with a total failure to see long-term implications of their decisions . . . ugh, I can feel the blood getting warm . . . these are just some of the things that create anger in me.
We've addressed so many levels of forceful human living . . . (shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear and desire.) With each one we have see how the next level builds on the one previously mentioned. Anger is no different. I think of a small child that desires to have a toy and can't communicate to the parent what he/she wants. The result is total frustration and often a complete meltdown. That's what anger in its negative form is . . . a meltdown.
David Hawkins defines it as "frustrated want." We all have a vision of how our lives should be or how we believe something should work. I would contend that what exists behind a frustrated want is the belief that we are right and everyone else is wrong thus we fuel our perspective or desire and thus we fuel our anger.
Anger can lead to all kinds of reactions--from hatred to any kind of raging expression. It can also have a positive effect. It can be a motivating factor that leads people to do something about oppressive situations (leave the work environment dominated by the dishonest manipulator, run for office to change the function of the government, become introspective so as to unpack one's failures, become a leader with vision and therefore change a lagging institution.)
With all of the things that make me angry, I have one choice to make. Will I choose to be constructive or destructive? Sometimes our anger motivates us to react quickly and poorly. And sometimes, if we can muster the ability to think before we act or speak, we can make slow and steady choices that serve to positively alter not only the trajectories of our lives but of those around us too.
In basketball, the player with the ball has a pivot foot. One foot must remain in place while the other can move around if the player is standing in one place with the ball in hand. This gives the player the time and safety to decide the best path to make the goal. We can liken anger to that pivot foot. It is that pivotal point between moving forward toward greatness or finding a life of frustrated want.
Where anger is concerned there is always a choice for us to make. I hope for us all the ability to sit with anger and then move forward successfully and transformatively toward our goals.
We've addressed so many levels of forceful human living . . . (shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear and desire.) With each one we have see how the next level builds on the one previously mentioned. Anger is no different. I think of a small child that desires to have a toy and can't communicate to the parent what he/she wants. The result is total frustration and often a complete meltdown. That's what anger in its negative form is . . . a meltdown.
David Hawkins defines it as "frustrated want." We all have a vision of how our lives should be or how we believe something should work. I would contend that what exists behind a frustrated want is the belief that we are right and everyone else is wrong thus we fuel our perspective or desire and thus we fuel our anger.
Anger can lead to all kinds of reactions--from hatred to any kind of raging expression. It can also have a positive effect. It can be a motivating factor that leads people to do something about oppressive situations (leave the work environment dominated by the dishonest manipulator, run for office to change the function of the government, become introspective so as to unpack one's failures, become a leader with vision and therefore change a lagging institution.)
With all of the things that make me angry, I have one choice to make. Will I choose to be constructive or destructive? Sometimes our anger motivates us to react quickly and poorly. And sometimes, if we can muster the ability to think before we act or speak, we can make slow and steady choices that serve to positively alter not only the trajectories of our lives but of those around us too.
In basketball, the player with the ball has a pivot foot. One foot must remain in place while the other can move around if the player is standing in one place with the ball in hand. This gives the player the time and safety to decide the best path to make the goal. We can liken anger to that pivot foot. It is that pivotal point between moving forward toward greatness or finding a life of frustrated want.
Where anger is concerned there is always a choice for us to make. I hope for us all the ability to sit with anger and then move forward successfully and transformatively toward our goals.
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